why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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