would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
