Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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