i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
