Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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