there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
