Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
