Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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