You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
