i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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