She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
