Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
