dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
