You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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