I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
