Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
