my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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