have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
