she sounds like chewbacca in bed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
