we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
