i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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