There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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