eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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