There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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