I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
