Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
