You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
