I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
