So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
