I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
