you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
