But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Randomize
