Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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