Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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