dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
