I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
