i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
