i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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