this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
