Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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