I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
