just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
