All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
