dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
