So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
