He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
