Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
