no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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