these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
