dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
