But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize