I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
