id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
