One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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